


Not My Harem

by Cyriusli, Mossybrows



Category: One Piece
Genre: Halloween Themes, Happy Ending, M/M, lots of sanjis, slight noncon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-29
Updated: 2017-10-31
Packaged: 2019-01-26 02:53:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 16,567
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12547196
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cyriusli/pseuds/Cyriusli, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mossybrows/pseuds/Mossybrows
Summary: The crew gets ready for Halloween, dressing in their costumes and heading off to the local island for a party. Zoro, after taking a shower, realizes he's forgotten his costume in the bunk room and trudges across the ship to find it. When happens next, sets into motion a long night of headaches for Zoro as he seems to encounter Sanji over and over and over again as he tries to get ready for Halloween.





	1. Fish Out Of Water

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! Here is another collaboration from Mossybrows and myself! This was entirely Mossy's idea and I highly recommend you go and see her side of this project on her Tumblr! She worked her butt off to bring you comics that coincide with each of the chapters I have written.
> 
> Things to note for this project are that, my story is like an added bonus to her art! Where as normally collabs from us are my work with her added art, this is the complete opposite! This is her art, with my added writing!
> 
> Also, our two "stories" are different. We both followed the same basic story line, but each of us brought our own spin to it and so, while this is essentially the same story, it's to completely different stories just the same! Sure, you can read/watch one without the other, but we both feel you get the full experience by looking at both!
> 
> This will also be posted over the course of the three days. Some today, some on Monday and the last on Halloween! Make sure to check back here, as well as Mossy's tumblr for the comics and videos, as well as Youtube! Check the ZoSan Halloween Special 2017 tag on Tumblr!
> 
> **All art is Mossy's, I'm just adding in bits of her comics that line up with my writing!

Zoro shut the water off, running a hand through his hair as he pulled the curtain aside. Still grumbling about Robin’s haunting tale of doppelgangers and how the crew needed to be careful or else they could fall victim to their double and no one would know until it was too late, Zoro shook his head. He could already hear Usopp and Chopper pleading with him to protect them from their devious doubles over the next few days. Only idiots believed in that sort of thing and he’d crossed his arms, barely holding back a chuckle as he watched Chopper scream like a lunatic around the deck, before heading off to shower and change.

Sanji had tried to goad him into a fight, but Zoro had flipped him off and rounded the corner to climb into the bathroom. Zoro inhaled deeply as he pulled a clean towel off the shelf, pissed off at himself that he’d once again let the bastard cook invade his thoughts. Sometimes, he wished he was able to turn off his emotions the same way he could turn off the shower head, but he couldn’t, and that angered him greatly. Besides, he wouldn’t even know what to do if he figured out Sanji did have feelings for him anyway, stupid womanizing bastard that he was.

Heaving a sigh, Zoro scrubbed the towel through his hair and over his chest, reaching out with one arm to wipe the water away from his shoulder and upper arm. Bending slightly, he dried off his legs and stood back up to change into his Halloween costume.

“Ah, fuck,” he muttered under his breath. In his haste to leave the crew’s ridiculous antics, he’d forgotten to go into the bunk room to get his clothes. Sanji was really going to give him shit this time. Bending back down to pick up his towel, Zoro wrapped it around his waist, already hearing the cook’s annoying voice in his head. _‘You’re late. Get lost on the way here, Marimo? It always amuses me how you can’t even walk in a straight line.’_

__

Slamming the bathroom door behind him, Zoro trotted down the steps toward the deck, one hand gripping to the ends of the towel over his hip. It was quiet, the gentle lapping of the waves against the sides of the ship the only sound he could hear. Zoro wasn’t really surprised though, he knew everyone was going to go off without him. If it wasn’t for Luffy insisting everyone go, Zoro would have just gotten into the booze stash in the galley and gotten drunk on the grass deck, perfectly happy to keep watch from those stupid doppelgangers that Robin had spoken of with her characteristic, and unsettling, fondness for the macabre.

Snorting back a laugh at his thoughts, Zoro rounded the stairs to the grass deck when he heard a faint splash. Raising an eyebrow, he walked over to the side of the ship, looking out across the dark water to see if he could find a disturbance. At first, Zoro couldn’t see anything, but then a blond head of hair popped above the surface and Zoro felt panic flood him for a split second until he realized it was Sanji. “Funny, asshole,” Zoro grunted at him as he leaned one arm on the rail. “You can’t give me shit for being late now, especially if you’re fucking swimming.”

Sanji didn’t answer Zoro, simply blinking calmly as he bobbed up and down in the gentle current of the waves hitting the side of the ship. “Hey, where’d you put my costume?” Zoro continued speaking, only half paying attention to the blond head of hair and blue eyes that watched him intently from the water as Sanji blew little bubbles from his mouth and nose.

Zoro watched as Sanji slipped back under the surface of the water and he groaned loudly. The cook was such an asshole. He could have at least answered him before he just fucked off for the rest of his swim. As soon as Sanji surfaced, Zoro was going to tell him off. Standing back up, Zoro tied a knot in the ends of the towel at his hip, crossed his arms and waited.

And waited.

And waited.

Zoro felt panic rise up his throat as he looked over the edge of the rail, eye searching the dark waters for any sign of that blond idiot. Not seeing any, Zoro cursed under his breath and hopped the rail, falling ungracefully into the water with a loud splash. Now he was _really_ going to kill the cook. Right after he brought him back from drowning, then Zoro was going to kill him again.

Zoro felt something brush against his foot and he spun in the water, but wasn’t able to see anything. Having not gotten a proper lungful of air, Zoro broke the surface, inhaling deeply before diving back under again. He couldn’t believe he was seriously doing this right now. Sanji was the best swimmer on the crew; there was no way he would have drowned.

Something brushed against his leg a second time and Zoro caught some creature, he wasn’t sure what, dart away from him. Great, was something down here, after all? And his swords were still in the bunk room. Twisting in the water, Zoro saw eyes flash in the murky darkness before he caught sight of Sanji leisurely swimming a few yards away. Pointing at Sanji, Zoro jerked his thumb toward the surface and went, gasping for breath when he breached the dark waters.

Sanji popped up right next to him, blue eyes watching Zoro’s every move intently and Zoro twisted to face him, running a hand down his face as he smirked. “You look like a complete dumbass with your hair flopped over on the wrong side of your face.” To be honest, Zoro sort of missed that look, but that thought flew out of his head when Sanji picked his head up out of the water, opening a mouth full of sharp pointed teeth and flicking weird blue webbed ears. Zoro couldn’t decide if this, or the stupid fake horns, was a worse idea for a costume.

“Zoro,” Sanji purred out, his voice somehow sounding like it was underwater, despite them not being.

“Ha, ha, very funny, Cook. Let’s go, before we are _both_ late.” Zoro moved to swim backward toward the ship, when something smacked him square in the ass, knocking him back forward toward Sanji and actually under the water for a moment. Sputtering, Zoro surfaced, angrier than he had been before he’d even jumped into the water. “What the fuck is your problem?”

“Come with me,” Sanji bubbled at him, mouth just barely above the water so that every word seemed to be accompanied by a series of popping bubbles.

“Uh, yeah,” Zoro shot back. “That’s what I was trying to do, Shit Cook.”

Sanji shook his head. “Not onto the ship, but into the water.”

Zoro leveled Sanji with a flat, unimpressed glare before he huffed. “You fucking hit your head, didn’t you?”

Sanji shook his head a second time as Zoro felt something scaly brush up his leg, then his hip and up his side. Jerking away from the touch, Zoro saw brilliant blue scales flash in the light of the ship and he tried to move away, flailing backward and doing nothing but sinking under the surface. A hand wrapped around his ankle and pulled him deeper as Sanji swam into his vision, grinning madly with his sharp, pointed teeth, before twisting away, flicking a long, muscular tail that easily propelled him through the water. For a moment, Zoro was mesmerized, the graceful, agile movements Sanji made as he sliced through the water were always impressive, but then it dawned on Zoro that Sanji also had a tail. Worst costume Zoro had ever seen really.

Forgetting he was underwater, Zoro laughed at the cook’s stupid idea of a costume— _mermaid,_ really— then choked on the mouthful of seawater he had inhaled. Sanji was back in front of him instantly, before Zoro could register he needed to head for the surface to cough up the water and breathe. Clawed, scaled hands came up to each side of Zoro’s face as Sanji tipped his head and pressed his mouth over Zoro’s.

He was dead, Zoro knew it. Shocked, Zoro stared, one good eye wide, as Sanji’s eyes fluttered closed. There was no way in _hell_ Sanji was kissing him. Everything else aside, Sanji had a sense of personal space and would never be this bold. Not out of the blue like this anyway. Blinking and trying his damnedest to not kiss back, it took Zoro a moment to realize what Sanji was doing, exchanging the sea water in his mouth and lungs for air he could actually use.

Pulling away from Zoro, one of Sanji’s hands lingered on his cheek as he smiled his shark tooth smile again, and spoke, “Come with me, Zoro.”

How Zoro was able to understand Sanji’s voice and words perfectly clear, he wasn’t sure, but he nodded dumbly, thinking if he played along with the idiot cook, he could get back on the ship and they could dress in their actual costumes for the night before going to meet the rest of the crew in the town of the small island near by. Sanji grinned broadly, a few bubbles escaping the corner of his mouth, as he grabbed Zoro by the wrist and flicked his magnificent tail, propelling the both of them deeper into the water.

Wait… deeper.

Realisation hit Zoro like a ton of bricks— this wasn’t Sanji, not truly— and he grabbed at Sanji’s fingers, pulling them off his wrist as he turned back for the surface. Sanji let out what Zoro could only describe as a wail of anguish, the sound vibrating around him and reverberating off the ship hull and making Zoro’s head spin, before that tail smacked him hard in the lower back, sending him tumbling through the water.

Righting himself, Zoro swam for the surface, inhaling deeply and coughing once he broke the surface, wasting no time in swimming back to the ladder of the Sunny. Fuck whatever in the hell _that_ was. There was no way that had been Sanji.

Scrambling half way up the ladder, Zoro wrapped his arm around one of the rungs and panted for breath. Hearing a splash, he looked down, but all he saw was the arc of a large blue tail disappearing into the depths under the boat. Not wanting to find out if that thing could jump out of the water, Zoro scrambled the rest of the way up the ladder and over the rail, falling to his hands and knees on the grass deck, never so happy in his life to see “dry land.”


	2. A Sly Trickster

Gasping for breath, Zoro choked, coughing up water as he tried to slow his breathing, hands dug into the grass of the deck. He had no idea what in the hell he had just seen, but it sure as hell was not Sanji, despite looking like him. Robin’s stupid story came to mind and Zoro swallowed thickly as he sat back on his knees, but quickly pushed it aside. That was a stupid idea and ludicrous to even consider as an option to begin with. Doppelgangers. What will she come up with next?

Standing, Zoro ran his hands through his hair and turned for the bunk room. He needed to get dressed and get off this ship. Maybe he’d spent too much time caged away on this thing and it was finally getting to him. Trying to wipe the water on his hands off on his drenched towel, Zoro sighed and opened the door to the bunk room.

It was dark in there, which wasn’t surprising, but the smell was. It wasn’t bad, sort of sweet in a way, like how autumn smells on a crisp sunny day when the leaves are falling to the ground. Sniffling at the aroma, probably some concoction of Usopp’s, Zoro closed the door behind him and flicked on the small light in the corner looking for his clothes. They weren’t where Sanji had said they would be, sitting on the cushions of the couch, and Zoro sighed. Damnable bastard probably took them as some sort of Halloween prank.

Turning, Zoro noticed a lump in Sanji’s bunk, and in the dim light could see what appeared to be horns, part of his Halloween costume. “Hey, Cook,” Zoro started. “What did you do with my costume?”

Without answering him, Sanji pulled an arm out from under the thin blanket covering him, holding out Zoro’s clothes to him. Grunting in thanks, Zoro tossed them onto his own bunk and searched out a dry towel to dry off with before returning to get dressed. Sanji didn’t seem to be moving and as Zoro reached for his pants, he scoffed, “You’re own food finally poison you, what’s your problem?”

When Sanji didn’t answer, Zoro rolled his eye, hiked his pants up over his ass, put on his belt and reached for his shirt. Pulling that on, he sat down on the edge of the bed to grab his boots when from the corner of his eye he caught something fall from Sanji’s bunk. It looked to be the edge of the blanket, swinging lightly from the movement of falling, and Zoro ignored it at first, standing up to do the buttons of his shirt and tuck it into his pants, when he realized it hadn’t stopped moving.

Picking up his tie, and looping it around his neck, Zoro studied the swaying movement for a moment. It didn’t seem like the edge of the blanket, it almost looked bigger and fluffier… like a tail. Snorting back a laugh at the thought, Zoro picked up his vest and turned for the door. “Hey, Cook,” Zoro growled out when he noticed his swords were missing from where he’d set them before leaving for his shower earlier. “Where the fuck are my katana?”

Rolling over in his bunk, Sanji’s eyes flashed and one of the fake horns flicked in amusement as the not-tail arched over his back in an elaborate wag breaking into three separate tails. It took Zoro a moment to realize something was really off, when Sanji spoke, completely distracting him and Zoro lost his train of thought. “I have your swords up here with me.” Raising his hand, Zoro could hear the clink of his weapons sayas hitting and the glint of their hilts in the low light of the room. “I’ll give you your three swords back on one condition: come up here and I’ll tell you what I want in return,” Sanji cooed and Zoro ground his teeth in frustration.

What in the hell was Sanji thinking touching his swords? Zoro thought, no, he _knew_ , Sanji had more respect for him than that. Even if he hardly ever showed it, this was low, even for Sanji. “That’s not fucking funny and you know it.” Zoro crossed the space back to the bunks quickly, reaching out to take his weapons when a hand shot from the bunk to grasp his wrist.

Sharp claws dug into his skin and Zoro could see a dark coloring to Sanji’s hand taper off into the pale color of his skin farther up his arm. He twisted his grip, grabbing Sanji by the wrist instead and ran his thumb over the back of the cook’s hand in slight horror at this new condition. “The hell happened to you?”

“I’m fine,” Sanji responded, grinning at him and showing sharp canines. Zoro snapped his head up, eye wide as he looked at Sanji. Being this close, he could see that what he mistook for the stupid fake horns were in fact ears and the fake tails were real, a slow wag of happiness as they swished over Sanji’s naked ass. Oh shit…

Swallowing, Zoro let go of Sanji’s wrist and reached for his swords. Realizing what he was doing, Sanji rolled over in the bunk, bundling up the swords and dropping to the ground with a light thump on the far side. “No,” Sanji lilted, wagging a clawed finger at Zoro. “I told you, I will only give you your swords in exchange for something.”

Zoro narrowed his eye, watching as this Sanji, who Zoro was beginning to realize was not the real Sanji, but something else, possibly even the same creature he encountered in the water, stepped around the edge of the bunk tier completely naked. Zoro had seen Sanji naked before, they all had seen each other naked, part of what happened in small quarters, but there was something different about Sanji willingly being naked and almost like he was on display, that made Zoro’s mouth go dry. “Wha— what,” Zoro stammered out, trying to keep his sight from trailing too far down Sanji’s pale and perfect skin.

Swords wrapped tightly in one arm, Sanji sauntered up to Zoro, his steps silent on the wooden floor, and cupped Zoro’s cheek with his free hand. Leaning in, Zoro saw one of the ears flick and that heady smell of autumn leaves filled his nose. It must have been coming from Sanji. Sanji’s breath was warm against his ear, Zoro’s earrings clinking quietly as he spoke,” I want your fourth sword.”

“My _what_?” Zoro jumped away, staring wide-eyed at Sanji. “What the hell is wrong with you?”

“What,” Sanji pouted, a barely there whine to his words. “Do you not find me attractive, Zoro? Aren’t I what you’ve always wanted?” Raising one swirly brow, both of Sanji’s ears— fox ears, Zoro realized suddenly— swiveled forward in curiosity as he tipped his head slightly to the side with a small pout, then he smirked showing off his sharp teeth. “Come and take your swords from me.”

Zoro felt anger flush through him, but he didn’t move. “I don’t know how the fuck you did this to yourself— a fox of all things— but you know damned well not to touch my weapons.”

“Mm,” Sanji grinned, letting his eyes trail down Zoro’s body before biting his lip. “Oh, I would love to touch your weapons.”

Zoro didn’t know what to call the emotion that flushed through him; it wasn’t quite embarrassment, but something close to it. “Just get your filthy hands off my katana!” Stepping forward, he reached out to take his weapons from Sanji, grasping a hold of the Wado Ichimonji before Sanji grabbed him by his wrist a second time.

Zoro lifted his gaze to meet Sanji’s and his blue eyes flashed with mischief as Zoro realised just how much taller Sanji stood over him all of a sudden. Something wasn’t right here either and a little voice in the back of his head kept telling Zoro this wasn’t the _real_ Sanji, whatever the hell that was supposed to mean, but he ignored it. “You’re making a mistake.” Zoro didn’t want to hurt Sanji, but this was beyond reasonable at this point.

“I wish you’d change your mind, Zoro.” Sanji practically purred Zoro’s name and Zoro felt a shudder run down his spine as the scent of crisp autumn leaves wafted around him again. Sanji must have felt it too because his grin widened and he tightened his hold on Zoro’s wrist. “Won’t you play with me? We can trade… techniques, if you’d like.”

“The fuck is wrong—” Zoro cut himself off, biting at his lip as he jerked the Wado Ichimonji from Sanji’s grasp. Taking a deep breath to calm himself, Zoro realized just how quickly he usually let Sanji get to him, bait him into a fight by throwing insults at one another or purposely fucking with each other. This though, this crossed a line, that until now, Zoro was sure Sanji wouldn’t cross. “Stop messing around with my swords, Shit Fox.” Sliding the Wado Ichimonji into his belt, he reached for his other two swords, having realized just what he was dealing with here and smirking as Sanji clicked his tongue in annoyance. A kitsune, of all things, on Halloween night. Was this another doppelganger, or the cause of the first one?

Sanji dropped his ears against his hair in defeat, a small whine sounding deep in his throat. “You’re no fun, Zoro.” With a dramatic sigh— one Zoro knew only Sanji could pull off— Sanji handed over his other two swords and flicked a hand into the air. “Well, I tried. Can’t say I didn’t give you enough opportunities to discover what it is you are really after, Zoro.”

“And what would that be?” Zoro bit his tongue at letting Sanji tug him into another fight, scowling as he returned his weapons to where they belonged at his side. He couldn’t let this guy have the control back, not now that Zoro understood what was going on.

Sanji flicked his tails, bending over to pick up the blanket he’d dropped on the floor, throwing it over his shoulders and reaching out to pat Zoro on the head. “You’re so tiny! I love how little you are!” Leaning in close, the scent of autumn struck Zoro again and he rubbed at his nose, trying to keep the smell away. “I could just take you home and eat you right up.”

“Yeah, I don’t think so.” Zoro pushed Sanji hard in the chest, opening the bunk room door and slipping back out onto the deck before he could recover. Looking over his shoulder, Zoro was certain that whatever that was, wasn’t Sanji either. It wasn’t following him, so maybe he just imagined it. He touched his lip, thinking maybe Sanji had some sort of drug on him when he kissed him in the water, but Zoro instantly tossed that ridiculous idea aside. Sanji was a lot of things, the biggest one being quite the asshole, but drugging his crewmates; never.

Doppelgangers, mermen, kitsune… Zoro groaned, rubbing at his temples with one hand. Something just didn’t add up. Zoro decided he could really use a drink.

Looking over to the galley, he knew all the alcohol was locked away and so Zoro flicked his attention up to the crow’s nest. He always kept a bottle stashed away up there for when Sanji decided to be a dick and not let him have any from the store. Without another thought, Zoro climbed up to his sanctuary.


	3. The Stray Cat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't forget to check out Mossy's comics and videos that's she's posting to Tumblr and Youtube!

With a sigh, Zoro dropped the hatch behind him, pausing to wonder if he should pull a weight over the top of it to keep whatever the hell those things were out of his space. Walking over to the window, he crossed his arms and looked out across the sea to the island where everyone else was and wondering how in the hell he was going to get over there with those weird ass Sanji look alikes out there. Maybe he could just stay up here and let the rest of the crew deal with them. The moon was beginning to rise and it cast strange shadows all about, as well as lighting the night sky brightly.

“What are we looking at?” Zoro jerked at the high-pitched voice and he jumped back, unsheathing one of his katana. Without even hesitating, he lounged forward, slicing through the air and hoping to connect with whoever the fuck was in the crow’s nest.

There was a flash of blond as the intruder ducked under Zoro’s swing, jumping back to land crouched. Zoro saw fangs in the dim light as the monster hissed, a long graceful tail flicking back and forth angrily. Zoro, didn’t even want to think about it at this point and he moved again, hoping to end this meager little fight quickly, so he could sit and drink. He’d worry about disposing of the body later when he was good and buzzed.

Dodging again, Zoro smirked at how fast and agile this foe was. He needed something like this tonight. Twisting to follow where the intruder was running, they passed through a patch of light and Zoro inhaled sharply at the fact that this looked like Sanji as well. Now the third Sanji look-alike he’d seen, Zoro was starting to wonder if Robin’s story of doppelgangers was really true after all. But if it was, how did it work and was the real Sanji okay?

Turning, this version of Sanji— Zoro had been able to guess right away it wasn’t the Sanji he knew— lunged for him, attacking him viciously and without mercy. Zoro easily blocked each wild swing of his feet, and claws— another tip off that this wasn’t the real Sanji— pushing the look alike back until Zoro was able to grab him by the shoulder and pin him against the wall, the tip of his blade hovering at the wanna-be’s throat.

Bare chest heaving, and wearing nothing more than was looked like a pair of cut off thigh-high shorts, this smaller Sanji looked like he was even younger than when Zoro first met the cook. He stared up at Zoro with intent and focused eyes, never showing a single moment’s hesitation or fear in the face of an enemy he had no way of defeating. Zoro twisted his wrist slightly, the tip of his sword hovering just over the hollow of Sanji’s throat, and he inhaled to speak, to ask what in the fuck was going on, when Sanji screeched.

Zoro wouldn’t say it was an angry or sad noise, it sounded happy if he thought about, but it was certainly loud and it hurt his ears. Big blue eyes seemed to grow larger and despite the fact that Zoro had a weapon poised to injure him, this Sanji clasped his hands together and smiled broadly. “Zoro! That was so amazing! You’re so strong!”

Taken aback, Zoro lowered his weapon, and it was enough for Sanji to pounce, literally. Jumping at Zoro, Sanji wrapped his arms around his neck and hung on, feet bent at the knee and his tail— yes, tail— wagged happily back and forth behind him. Leaning into Zoro’s chest, Sanji rubbed his cheek across his vest as he hummed happily. “Ah, you smell so good, Zoro!” Looking up at Zoro again, Sanji gasped. “Oh, no! What’s wrong, Zoro?”

Zoro was sure he was losing his mind. Unsure of how to answer, he shook his head and took a step back, raising one arm while he sheathed his katana with the other. Sanji dropped from his neck to land silently on his feet, and Zoro just simply turned away from him, going to sit on the bench and muttering how he really needed a drink.

“I’ll get it,” Sanji chirped cheerfully, running about the room and way to easily finding where Zoro kept his stash, bringing over Zoro’s favorite brand from what he had managed to sneak away. Twisting off the cap, Sanji handed it to Zoro, a large grin still on his face.

Zoro couldn’t understand why this Sanji, if that’s what he truly was, was acting this way. He seemed overly excitable and happy to cater to Zoro. The affection toward Zoro, which he noted was very similar to what Sanji reserved to use toward women, was very confusing. Numbly, Zoro raised the bottle to his lips, taking a swig and letting his eye close at the feel of the burn down his throat.

Sanji gasped as he stood in front of him and Zoro pulled the bottle from his mouth with a pop as he threw a glare at him. “What,” Zoro asked, voice rough from chugging about a third of the bottle in one go.

“Your tie is undone. Here, let me.” Without even asking, Sanji climbed into Zoro’s lap, settling down and twisting just enough so he could quickly and deftly fix Zoro’s tie. “Your vest isn’t buttoned either.  I can fix that, too!”

“Um, thanks,” Zoro raised an eyebrow and cleared his throat. Not entirely sure what to do with himself. Sanji or not, this… creature, still seemed pretty innocent and naïve, and Zoro wasn’t sure what to make of their actions. Zoro felt like they had good intentions, but at the same time, this entire evening had just been weird.

He watched dumbfounded as Sanji beamed up at him looking for affectionate approval, his big blue eyes seeming to gleam in the moonlight. “Anything for you, Zoro!”

“Mm,” Zoro nodded, turning his head to the side to take another drink of his booze and try to think about what was going on here. Sanji wrapped his arms as far as he could around Zoro’s chest, pulling his feet up into Zoro’s lap and sighing happily as he closed his eyes and nuzzled his cheek into Zoro’s vest.

This Sanji certainly looked like Sanji, but it clearly wasn’t Sanji. Tipping his head down to look at him, Zoro sighed. “Look, um, Cook.”

“Yes, Zoro?” Picking his head up, Sanji twisted his ears forward, tail jerking up in excitement behind him. Zoro bit his cheek, this Sanji— a cat from the looks of it— was sweet, he really was; he was just too sweet.

“Look, Sanji.” Settling his bottle on the window sill behind them, Zoro managed to get Sanji’s arms from around him, and he carefully pushed the cat look-a-like from his lap. Sanji plopped onto the ground, curling up against Zoro’s leg and crossing his arms over Zoro’s knee. Resting his chin over his arms, Sanji looked up to Zoro with all the love and adoration Zoro was sure Sanji could muster. “Sanji.” Sighing, Zoro paused, at a loss for words.

“What is it, Zoro? Are you sad? Did I not get the right alcohol? Or maybe you didn’t want a simple tie knot. I can do a trinity knot. Oh! I know! It’s Halloween! How about an eldredge knot!” Sanji rose up on his knees, hands reaching for Zoro’s throat and Zoro grabbed both Sanji’s wrists, holding him from moving.

“No, the tie is fine, thank you.” Zoro sighed as he watched Sanji deflate before him. Ears dropping, his tail curled around his feet and he muttered a low, “oh.”

Zoro let go of Sanji’s wrists and he sat back on his heels, folding his hands in his lap and looking away. The poor little guy looked completely dejected and Zoro felt a hint of regret tug at him. Reaching out, he hesitated before he dropped his hand over the top of Sanji’s head, scrubbing up his hair. “You’re great, really,” Zoro started, pausing when Sanji purred loudly and tipped his head into Zoro’s touch. Zoro bit back the smile that threatened to break out. He could begin to admit he had feelings for Sanji, an affection that had at some point gone beyond simply being crewmates and nakama, but this Sanji, this wasn’t the Sanji he had those feelings for. “But you’re not the right Sanji. I hope you can understand that.”

Standing, Zoro picked up his bottle and headed for the hatch door. He felt sorta lost, and a little down about pushing Sanji away, but he had to keep reminding himself, just because this doppelganger looked like Sanji, didn’t mean it was the right Sanji, and Zoro needed to find that Sanji.

He was just bending over to pick up the hatch when Sanji spoke behind him. His voice was quiet, meek and so unlike the Sanji he knew, but somehow it seemed to fit this Sanji. “Can I stay up here, Zoro? It’s so high and it smells like you.”

Zoro kept his gaze on the hatch door, even though he smiled. “Yeah,” he replied calmly. “You can stay up here. There’s a blanket in the trunk you can curl up with.” He didn’t trust himself to look back at the cat-like copy of the cook and Zoro pulled the hatch up, dropping down to the landing as he let the hatch slam closed behind him.

Rubbing a hand against his neck, Zoro sighed and took another swig of his booze. What in the hell was happening around here tonight? If this was the crew’s idea of a prank, Zoro had to admit, it was a pretty damned good one. He didn’t think it was though. Something felt off about all these encounters.

Each one of these Sanjis felt like the shit cook he knew in some way, but none of them came close to the real thing. Zoro raised his arm, rubbing the lip of the bottle against his own lip, as he thought about what the hell could have been happening. The idea that doppelgangers were real was the craziest idea he had entertained tonight, but was it possible?

Turning to look back up at the hatch, Zoro frowned. That Sanji, cat or no cat, had been Sanji, or well, a part of Sanji, somehow. The other two Sanjis had been the same way. They both were and weren’t Sanji all at the same time. Groaning, Zoro pushed it from his mind. He needed to focus on getting to the island, not entertaining Robin’s crazy notions of monsters. Even still, as Zoro took another drink of his alcohol and jumped down to the grass deck, he couldn’t get the thought out of his head, humming lowly in the back of his mind: what if she was right?


	4. Sneaky, Cheeky, Devil

Standing, Zoro set the near empty bottle on a barrel nearby and pressed his hands into his lower back, leaning back and stretching. What a weird, shitty night so far and he hadn’t even made it off the ship yet. What the hell else could go wrong around here? Grabbing his bottle, he caught the scent of cigarette smoke, and Zoro looked up to see Sanji standing on the far side of the deck, pulling the last drag off a cigarette before tossing it overboard.

“Oi, Cook!” Zoro couldn’t help the small grin. This was Sanji, the real Sanji, or well, it looked like him. Zoro could tell by the stupid fake horns and the suit he was wearing. The blue shirt had been new, same as the green vest Zoro wore, something Sanji had gotten them that morning when Sanji had gone into town for last minute costume supplies.

“Tsk, there you are, Marimo,” Sanji scoffed, turning to face Zoro and stuffing his hands in his pockets. Sanji walked toward Zoro, striding leisurely across the deck, meeting Zoro at the mast pole near the base of the stairs that lead to the galley. He looked pissed off, grinding his teeth, but so far, so good, Zoro was almost certain this was the real Sanji. Maybe Robin was wrong after all, he knew there was no reason to get so worked up over nothing. “Where the hell have you been?”

“Che,” Zoro started, waving a hand to dismiss his evening so far. “You wouldn’t believe me if I told you, so just forget about it. Let’s go before the rest of the crew thinks something happened to us.” Zoro squared his shoulders as he stopped across from Sanji. They stood close to one another and Sanji simply raised an eyebrow at Zoro’s nonchalant tone before inhaling deeply. Before Zoro realised what was happening, he found himself getting slammed against the mast, Sanji’s arm bracing across his chest to keep him pinned. “Hey,” Zoro growled out, pushing at Sanji’s waist. “The fuck is your problem, get the hell off me so we can go, shitty asshole cook.”

Sanji laughed darkly as he lifted his eyes to Zoro’s and Zoro gasped as he saw the blue of Sanji’s irises drain to be replaced by red. “Listen to you,” the look-alike started, voice low and thick, making a chill ran down Zoro’s spine. The tip of a black pointed tail flicked over Sanji’s shoulder and Zoro felt his mouth go dry. This wasn’t Sanji, well, not the _right_ Sanji. This was certainly something that looked like the cook, but it also wasn’t something he wanted to tangle with, and Zoro cursed himself for not being more careful and noticing beforehand. “Thinking you can talk back to me.”

“Fuck you,” Zoro spat, grunting as he tried to get Sanji away from him, but the cook wouldn’t fucking budge. He knew Sanji was strong, but he wasn’t this strong. Zoro felt like he was pushing against a wall, unable to even get whatever this thing was to waver in his stance.

“Oh, ho,” Sanji grinned, something feral and sinister and evil. “If that’s what it is that you want, who am I to deny you, Zoro.” Sanji leaned against Zoro, his right hand pressing against Zoro’s hip as he breathed into Zoro’s ear. “How would you like to take your punishment?” Sanji’s voice was breathless, hot as it stirred Zoro’s earrings. The hand at his side, snaked downward, tracing the line of Zoro’s hip, headed for his groin.

“Watch it,” Zoro snapped, turning his head and pulling away to throw a glare at Sanji, as he reached for his katana. “Just back the fuck off.”

“I’ll _fuck_ all right,” Sanji grinned at him, red eyes flashing in the moonlight. “It's more a question of _how_ or _who_ will be fucking.” Chuckling, Sanji grabbed ahold of Zoro, groaning as he massaged Zoro’s cock through his pants. “What do we have here?”

Zoro yelped, not sure how to take Sanji being so bold, other than getting pissed off. He’d let his guard down— a stupid mistake— thinking this had been the real Sanji, but he didn’t know what the fuck this was. This didn’t even seem to be acting like Sanji, it only looked like Sanji. Raising his arm, Zoro grabbed Sanji by the tie and brought his knee up, hoping to catch him off guard long enough to break away from him.

It partially worked, Sanji was caught unaware by Zoro’s sudden movements, but instead of releasing him, Sanji twisted his grip, grabbing Zoro by the neck and lifting him off the ground until he was just able to scrabble for purchase in the grass with the tips of his toes. Both of Zoro’s hands flew to Sanji’s wrist, pulling at his fingers as he tried to get Sanji to let go of him.

Zoro could feel panic flood through him, and that was a feat in it’s own right, as Sanji grinned wickedly at him, his sharp, triangle-tipped tail arching behind him, whipping angrily like a pissed off cat. “Will you be good, I’d hate to have to punish you, Zoro.”

“Go to hell,” Zoro gasped out, breathing becoming erratic as he clawed at Sanji’s hand. He wasn’t doing any damage at all, or if he was, Sanji wasn’t reacting to it, which only furthered to anger and distress Zoro more.

Sanji laughed at him, openly throwing his head back and not the least bit phased by the threat. “That’s a good one, go to hell, like I haven’t heard that one before.” With his other arm, Sanji grabbed Zoro by the chin and turned his face toward him. “Now, hold still, this won’t hurt and then we can carry on.”

“What are you—” Zoro broke off as Sanji kissed him, rough and brutal and Zoro couldn’t help but groan into it, eye fluttering closed as he melted into Sanji’s touch. His hands fell from Sanji’s wrist, but he raised them to thread into his hair, thumbs hooking around the base of Sanji’s horns. All the anger Zoro had seemed to fade away, replaced by a want that hit him hard and fast, flooding throughout Zoro’s body and pooling in his groin.

Slowly, Sanji pulled away, a small smirk twitching at the corners of his mouth as he let Zoro go, where he dropped back to his feet. Zoro felt lightheaded and slightly dizzy, almost love-drunk off of one breathtaking kiss. “There, that wasn’t so hard, was it, Zoro?”

“Naw,” Zoro drawled, leaning back against the mast and trying to catch his breath. His heart was racing and his head was still spinning, who knew that Sanji could kiss like that? He could feel his cheeks heat up and he let his arms drop to his sides as Sanji moved close, biting at his neck as his hands moved to start undoing his vest and shirt buttons.

Zoro took a moment to let want flood through him as he swallowed thickly. Sanji’s lips traveled over his skin from the base of his ear toward his shoulder, kissing, licking and nipping at his flushed skin, and Zoro could feel a heat steadily growing in his groin. Head tipped back toward the sails, Zoro’s vision blurred, the moon one giant white smear in the sky above him.

When Sanji got to Zoro’s belt, he slipped a hand under the hem, humming in approval as he palmed at Zoro’s growing arousal. “What’s this,” Sanji purred, nipping at Zoro’s jaw. “You’re so thick and uncut; mmm, makes my mouth water. What happens if I stroke it a few times; does that feel good, Zoro? Is your cock hard, just for me?”

“Shit, Sanji,” Zoro choked out, lifting his hips in an attempt to give Sanji more room to stroke along his length. Zoro’s head was swimming, he thought something felt off, but he couldn’t for the life of him remember what it was. Guess it didn’t matter, not with Sanji standing right here jerking him off like he was.

Sanji pulled his hand free and Zoro actually whined, but Sanji pressed a finger to Zoro’s mouth, shushing him quietly. “Don’t worry,” he cooed. “We aren’t done, I just want to get your belt undone. How about I suck your dick, Zoro? I want to taste you, feel the weight of your cock on my tongue and swallow whatever it is you have to offer me.”

Zoro groaned and nodded dumbly, feeling arousal flush through him and his cock twitch with want. His arms felt heavy, but Zoro tried to help Sanji undo his belt, managing to pop the button to his pants before Sanji dropped to his knees in front of him.

Lifting his hands, Zoro ran them through Sanji’s hair, meeting his red eyes as he pulled his bangs back. For a fleeting moment, Zoro wondered why Sanji’s eyes were red instead of blue, that deep, deep blue he loved so much, but the concern left him, vanishing into thin air as Sanji leaned forward and pressed a kiss to the skin just below his navel where the thin trail of hair started that lead straight to his dick.

“Zoro,” Sanji started and Zoro tipped his head down to look at him. Zoro thought he could get used to this; he didn’t think there was a better sight than the cook on his knees, mere inches from sucking him off, breath warm on his skin and eyes filled with excitement and lust.

“What is it,” Zoro asked, words slurring slightly as he spoke. He knew he hadn’t drank much, but he felt tipsy, like he did after a whole night of drinking. That must have been some good booze. Zoro went to look at the bottle in his hand, but he must have dropped it at some point and his vision swam as he tried to focus on Sanji as he spoke.

“I need you to promise me something, Zoro.” Sanji’s voice was laced with smoke, yet smooth like silk. Zoro could listen to Sanji speak for hours, he was fairly convinced. “You have to promise, all right?”

“Anything for you, Sanji,” Zoro breathed out, tipping his head down and barely resisting the urge to pull Sanji’s face closer to his crotch.

Sanji grinned and Zoro smiled back, running a hand through Sanji’s hair. Shit, the cook was so fucking pretty, not that he’d ever tell Sanji that. Sanji would kick his ass if Zoro ever uttered the word ‘pretty’ outloud. “I need you to promise me you’ll give me your all, Zoro, your everything; your essence.”

“My what,” Zoro snorted back a laugh. “I’m not gonna stop you if you wanna swallow, shit that’s actually kinda hot.”

“I need you to say it, Zoro,” Sanji’s voice was firm, his breath hot as it stirred the hairs right at the base of his dick. “I need you to promise me.”

“I promise, Sanji, you can have—”

Zoro cut off as he heard a loud bang that sounded a lot like the galley door slamming, and he thought he heard Sanji yell. That didn’t make any sense with Sanji being right here with him, on his knees about to blow him. At his feet, Sanji cursed and when Zoro looked down, his would-be lover was gone.

Zoro felt something drain from him and he groaned as he fell back against the mast, his pulse throbbing behind his eyes. Rubbing at his forehead, Zoro pressed the heels of his palms into his eyes, trying to figure out what in the hell had just happened. A few feet from his foot was the empty bottle of booze and Zoro swallowed, maybe he needed to stop drinking…

Naw.


	5. The Stylish Gentleman

“Zoro!” Sanji’s voice rang out across the deck and Zoro picked his head up, too tired to even react to hearing Sanji’s voice right now. He had no idea what was real or what wasn’t anymore, partly convinced that somewhere along in his travels he’d been drugged. It was the only way to explain what in the hell was going on. All these different Sanjis and Robin’s story of doppelgangers, it was too much.

Zoro ran his hand over his face, trying to get his head to stop spinning and pinpoint just what in the hell had happened. One moment he was arguing with another not-Sanji, then the next thing he knew, he had Sanji on his knees about ready to… Groaning, Zoro dropped his head between his knees, not wanting to deal with any more of this doppelganger bullshit any longer tonight.

Sanji’s dress shoes came into view and Zoro heard the man scoff above him. “Look at you, you’re a mess.” Zoro looked down at himself as he sat back against the mast. He really couldn’t argue there. He was a mess, shirt and vest unbuttoned, belt and pants open. His mouth felt dry and he squinted up at Sanji in confusion.

It was certainly Sanji, hair flipped to the right side with his stupid goatee, blue eyes and no tail— a first for the evening. He wasn’t wearing his costume though and the bright pink hair clip in his bangs must have been from Nami. Zoro thought about questioning where Sanji’s costume was, but it seemed like every time he mentioned going to the island, or the costume, something weird happened, so he kept his mouth shut instead.

“Come on, stand up.” Sanji grabbed him by the shoulders and tugged Zoro to his feet. Turning him, Sanji pushed Zoro in the back, heading for the bottom of the stairs that lead up to the galley. He had no idea what in the hell Sanji’s problem was, but he didn’t appreciate being pushed around.

Hitting the bottom of the stairs, Zoro reached out, grabbing a hold of the railing and turning to face Sanji. “Would you stop, you don’t need to push!”

“I need the light to see how much of a _disaster_ you are, Zoro.” Huffing a sigh, Sanji went for his shirt buttons, grumbling as he deftly did them up. “I know I taught you to dress better than this, you heathen! What are you thinking walking around like this? And your hair! Zoro, you really are a mess!”

Zoro blinked at Sanji, rather confused as Sanji pulled his vest into place and did the buttons up on that as well. He didn’t know what confused him about this Sanji, he certainly acted like the real Sanji, but something in the back of his mind was screaming, _nope nope nope, not Sanji, not Sanji!_

Opening his mouth to speak, Zoro was interrupted by Sanji pressing two fingers to his lips. “Upt, I don’t even want to hear your excuses. I found your jacket, too, by the way, just discarded like some piece of trash. This is a nice jacket, I should have known a brute like you would treat it like this.” Sanji raised his arms, holding up the jacket that had been thrown over his elbow this entire time.

Zoro blinked stupidly at the jacket, that had been in the bunk room, he hadn’t a chance to put it on before that fox look-a-like had tried to do whatever the hell it was kitsune did. Reaching out, Zoro tried to take the jacket, but Sanji snagged it away from him, dropping it over the edge of the railing and pointing to the stairs.

“Sit,” Sanji demanded and Zoro found himself sitting down, looking back up at Sanji as the man moved toward him, running a hand through his hair.

Zoro let his eye close, the feeling of Sanji’s fingers running through his hair much nicer than he thought it would have been. Inhaling deeply, Zoro tried to collect himself and get his thoughts in order given the night. He knew Robin’s storytime had been real, as well as his shower. Mentally retracing his steps, Zoro worked his way up to this point.

First, merman Sanji, or well, doppelganger? When Zoro thought about it, despite everything else that had happened tonight, the tingle of Sanji’s lips on his under the water, was still faint. Then kitsune Sanji and cat Sanji. Zoro wondered if he’d seen the real Sanji before now at all tonight. The devil Sanji… that encounter was still hazy in his mind, and Zoro went to raise his hand to his mouth, but Sanji smacked his hand away.

“Sit _still_ ,” he almost hissed, pulling a comb from his back pocket and running it through Zoro’s hair, grumbling under his breath about needing to use more conditioner. Zoro almost tipped his head up to look at Sanji, but didn’t, instead focusing on the shiny metal of his belt buckle. Zoro didn’t remember Sanji having that one before, but then again, Sanji always had new things Zoro never noticed until he saw them on the cook’s person.

Sanji pulled and tugged at his hair, pushing the comb through it one way then the other and Zoro wondered why he was so calm about this. He normally didn’t like Sanji messing with his hair, but he was so worn out, and the familiarness of this— Sanji berating him for his state of dress and trying to fix it— was comforting in some sort of weird way. Zoro inhaled deeply and exhaled through his nose.

“Okay, stand up. Now that your hair is fixed, let’s get the rest of this tragedy you call an outfit, cleaned up.” Snapping his fingers impatiently, Sanji took a step back and Zoro stood, hands automatically going to push his shirt back into his pants before pulling himself back into a somewhat presentable order.

“Stop.” Sanji frowned at Zoro, holding up a hand as he pushed the comb back into his pocket with the other. “Just, look at how you have your shirt bunched over here.” Moving to Zoro’s side, Sanji picked at his dress shirt, pulling and pushing and twisting until he was nodding to himself and humming in approval.

“What the hell do you care,” Zoro grunted, pushing Sanji’s hands away when he tried to go for his belt. “I can dress myself.”

Sanji laughed at him. “Please, I have to pick your clothes out every morning you don’t have to work.”

“You do no such thing,” Zoro snapped, tugging his belt tight and listening to the familiar clink of his katana jostling together. “The hell are you on about now?”

“Let’s fix your tie.”

“Ah, no,” Zoro took a step back, tripping over the bottom step and landing hard on the next couple stairs. Zoro let his head fall back against the steps, groaning as he did so. Where was the cook anyway? Was Sanji even on the ship anymore? Was _he_ even on the ship? Taking a deep breath, Zoro tried to relax and think about this again. So he’d run into another imposter Sanji, another doppelganger. They had to be getting Sanji’s looks from somewhere, right? Sanji had to be close by then! “The weird cat you did this for me.” He didn’t know why he felt so defensive about one of the doppelgangers, but that Sanji had been sweet, just wanting to help Zoro in any way that he could.

“Cat me?” Sanji scrunched up his nose in confusion before rolling his eyes. “Well, whoever did it for you, it’s now been undone, so let me fix it.”

Zoro groaned, but let Sanji fix his tie, keeping a leery eye on him in case he wanted to mess with the knot that cat-Sanji had first done. This entire night had been fucked up, Zoro wasn’t sure how much more of this he could take. “How did you get this messy, anyway,” Sanji asked, standing back up and crossing his arms.

“The devil,” Zoro spat out, running his tongue over his teeth and realizing _that_ Sanji had kissed him, too, as well as almost getting him to do a whole lot of other things. Sucking in a sharp breath, he stood back up, reaching around Sanji to pull his jacket off the railing. He couldn’t be sitting here letting this Sanji fuss over him, he had to find the real Sanji. “Sorry, Cook, but I’m not sure you’re _the_ cook,” Zoro started, shrugging on the article of clothing. This entire conversation didn’t seem logical, but then again, when did anything on the Grand Line seem logical. “And I have to find the cook.”

“Well, of course I’m not a cook, you idiot, I’m a hair stylist.”

“A what?” Zoro took a step backward up the stairs, one hand straying to his swords.

Sanji took a step up the stairs as well, jabbing a finger into Zoro’s chest as he spoke. “A stylist, best damned stylist you’ve ever laid eyes on. I’ve been thinking of breaking into the fashion scene, but you’ve been a bit hesitant to model clothes for me, despite me practically _begging_ you to, and we both know I don’t beg for just any reason. I must say, while I, personally, didn’t pick out this outfit for you, whichever Sanji did, sure does know what he’s talking about. It’s a perfect fit, too, nice and snug over your shoulders, but not too tight.”

“What in seven hells are you going on about, bastard?”

Sanji crossed his arms and raised one to tuck his chin into his palm. “Let me ask a personal question: What are your thoughts on manscaping?”

“On what?” Zoro tripped up another couple of stairs and Sanji ascended after him, keeping close to Zoro. He grinned wickedly and Zoro caught Sanji glance at his groin.

“Manscaping, you know, keeping all the unsightly hair in your—” Sanji paused to make a vague reference to Zoro’s crotch. “—nice and neat for your lover’s benefit.”

“Oh, fuck this.” Turning, Zoro ran up the rest of the stairs, hearing Sanji call out his name behind him. Reaching the landing, Zoro threw open the galley door, slamming it closed and locking it behind him.


	6. Cook Out Of Time

Swallowing, Zoro inhaled deeply, the smells of a busy and working kitchen flooding his senses and actually making his mouth water. Snapping his head over toward the galley, he could see the counter full of all sorts of delicious food, and Zoro pushed off the galley door with his shoulders as he took a cautious step toward the counter.

Zoro had about enough of this shit for one night. He had no idea what in the fuck was going on around here, but he didn’t want to deal with anymore weird Sanjis, that was for sure. He wanted the real Sanji. The Sanji who fought with him, called him names, had his back in a fight, begrudgingly cooked his favorite foods and… and…

“Come sit, Marimo!” Sanji’s voice was loud and very welcoming, happy if Zoro thought about it, and Zoro couldn’t help but walk over, placing his hands on the edge of the counter as he watched yet another copy in the kitchen. It looked like Sanji, humming to himself as he deftly moved about the small area, a master in his own space, only it wasn’t the right Sanji, Zoro could tell that right away.

Great, Zoro thought, inhaling deeply and gripping onto the back of one of the chairs, another one. This look-alike was younger, closer to the age when they first met, thin across the shoulders and skinny everywhere else. His smile was brighter and his presence lacking the hardened edge of the real Sanji that Zoro had grown used to. He still moved like Sanji and sounded like Sanji, though, as he sang under his breath at the stove. Zoro couldn’t help the small smile, there was something about Sanji in the kitchen— any Sanji for that matter— that just felt right to Zoro.

“Eat, eat,” Sanji waved a hand over his shoulder as he picked up a bowl and ladled some sort of soup into it. Zoro slid into one of the seats, looking across the counter to all the amazing food. Zoro spotted onigiri and sashimi, along with all his other favorite dishes, trying to decide where he wanted to start first, before he realised what it was Sanji had said to him. He stared blankly at the latest version of Sanji, studying the short ponytail he had, as Sanji turned, flashing him with a wide grin and repeated his words as he set the hot bowl of soup in front of Zoro.

“You speak Japanese,” Zoro questioned, automatically breaking into his native tongue at the even meagerest of chances to speak it.

Sanji grinned at him, placing one of the hand-crafted clay teacups beside his bowl and filling it. “Yeah, of course, why wouldn’t I? Did you forget that I could, Zoro?”

“I just—” Zoro stopped and shook his head, a small smile twitching at the corner of his mouth as he tried to decide what to say to Sanji. His stomach was growling suddenly and spotting his favorite dishes among the spread was just way too tempting; besides Sanji’s cooking was always great. “I don’t hear you speak it often.” Zoro found it easy to talk to Sanji this way, using words that rolled off his tongue almost easier than the common language they used everyday about the ship. “It’s… nice.”

Sanji smiled again, that large shit-eating grin he got when he was really excited about something, and he reached out to pick up a bowl of rice with a pair of chopsticks balanced on the side of it. “That’s miso soup with bok choi and seaking, just the way you like it.”

Taking the bowl of rice, Zoro thanked Sanji for everything and picked up the chopsticks, digging into the food without hesitation. Sanji went back to whatever it was he was doing and when it went quiet, Zoro looked up to see Sanji watching him eat from the far side of the counter. Swallowing the mouthful of food he was chewing, Zoro set the bowl down and cleared his throat. “Aren’t you going to eat?”

“Naw,” Sanji shook his head. “I just enjoying seeing you eat, Zoro.”

Zoro sighed, leaning back in the chair and picking up the cup of tea. Sipping at it, he watched Sanji watching him over the lip of the cup before he set it back down. “So, tell me, Chibi-Cook,” he started. This Sanji seemed a little calmer and focused than the other ones and Zoro thought that maybe he could get a few answers out of him about his evening. Zoro was getting the impression that all these different Sanjis were real, in some way or another, but that still left the questions of how they got on the ship and where the real Sanji was. “What’s going on here tonight?”

“I spent all night cooking for you, that’s all. Look, I have all your favorites, plus the rest of the crew, as well!” Sanji leaned forward, pointing to different dishes across the counter top, listing off each one as he pointed to them.

“I see that, but that’s not what I meant.” Zoro set his cup down and tried again. “I meant, here on the ship. You’re not the first cook I’ve run into tonight.”

Sanji paused, hesitating ever so slightly before he laughed. “I have no idea what you are talking about.” Waving a hand, as if to dismiss the conversation, Sanji walked over to the oven, bending over to pull out a tray of what looked to be brownies. He was humming to himself again, gracefully moving across the kitchen, barely standing still for more than a second at a time.

Zoro picked up his rice, reaching out with the chopsticks to pick up a piece of the seaking that lay thinly cut on a platter before him. The two fell into a silence, but it wasn’t uncomfortable at all. If anything, it reminded Zoro of the rare afternoons he would nap in the galley, safe from the antics of Luffy, Usopp and Chopper, under Sanji’s watchful gaze. Not that Sanji was actually looking out for Zoro, but no one dared tempt the wrath of the fiery cook between meals either. It had always just simply been, a sort of mutual agreement to not fight between meals and Zoro paused, not realizing until this moment how much he really appreciated those quiet afternoons near the cook.

Sanji placed a small plate with a brownie on it in front of Zoro and he looked up, disgust already on his face. “I don’t do sweets, Chibi-Cook.”

“I know,” Sanji grinned again and Zoro could hear the excitement in his words, that same excitement the real Sanji got when he spoke of some new recipe he’d found and made. “But I found a new recipe for bittersweet brownies, and I thought I should try it, I bet you will like them! Just one bite, Zoro, please?”

Zoro set down his chopsticks and sighed. As much as he enjoyed this, he knew he couldn’t stay here. He had to keep looking for the real Sanji, maybe even finally tell him how he felt. Sitting here, Zoro realised just what Sanji really meant to him, and while all the different Sanjis he had encountered over the evening all looked like Sanji and had aspects of the cook, it was clear they weren’t the right one. He couldn’t sit here any longer and let himself get distracted.

Standing, Zoro ran a hand through his hair, gripping the back of his neck as he sighed. “Look,” he started, trying to think of how he could tell this look-alike he needed to leave. “I appreciate the offer, but I’m not really in the mood for sweets right now.”

Sanji chuckled. “I told you it wasn’t sweet, Marimo.” Leaning over the counter, Sanji picked up the small plate and held it out to Zoro. “Come on, one bite, they are still hot and smell amazing, don’t they?”

The brownies did, and Zoro was tempted, but only because he knew that he would probably like it. Sanji would go out of his way to make things Zoro would eat, but he raised his hand to decline the offer and shook his head. “Yeah, it does, but it’s not just that, Chibi-Cook. It’s—” Zoro sighed. “I need to go find the real cook, is all. I am thankful for all the food you cooked, but I just— I can’t waste more time here with you.”

Sanji set the small plate back on the counter, a completely defeated look on his face. There as a tension in the air, Zoro realised, mixed with sadness and disappointment. He knew, without having to use his senses to perceive it, that all of that was coming from Sanji behind the galley counter.

Zoro inhaled sharply, trying to think of something to say to atleast make this Sanji realize that it wasn’t him that was the issue, it was Zoro and his want to find his crewmate that was the cause of this, but Sanji looked up, a fleeting smile flickering across his mouth. “It’s okay,” he started, the low tone of his voice conveying his sadness. “I didn’t honestly expect you to eat it anyway.”

“Cook— I—” Zoro sighed, the tightness in his chest not allowing him to leave in good consciousness. If it was anyone else, Zoro knew that he would be able to walk out that door and not give a shit that he had insulted them by not eating, but in some way this was Sanji, and Zoro couldn’t force himself to walk away, even though he knew he should. “One,” he started, holding up his hand to indicate he was serious. “Then I’m leaving.”

Sanji perked right back up, a huge grin on his face as Zoro slid back into his chair. “Really? Just you wait, Zoro, these are the best brownies I have ever made! And I had you in mind the entire time, there’s no way you can hate them.”

“I’ll judge that,” Zoro shook his head as he pulled the little plate closer to himself. “I don’t know how many times I have to—” Zoro broke off as something slammed against the galley door and he turned, hands already straying to his katana hilts. Looking back to Sanji, he could see the younger cook remove his apron and round the counter out of the kitchen, all signs of his cheerful nature gone as his face hardened into a look that told Zoro he was ready to deal with whatever was on the other side of the galley door.

The door handle shook and then a moment later something slammed against the door hard, busting open the lock as the door flew open to hit the wall. It bounced back closed, but it was enough for Zoro to catch a flash of blue and he felt a shiver run down his spine. He could have sworn that on the other side of the galley door was the merman look-alike that had tried to drown him after kissing him. Zoro swallowed; what in the hell was going on?


	7. Blackleg Sanji: Part One

Someone turned the handle to the door and Zoro sucked in a sharp breath as cat-Sanji burst into the room, his high-pitched cry of Zoro’s name echoing around the galley. Behind him came the kitsune, carrying the merman— who seemed rather pissed— in his arms, and behind them both was the hairdresser, peeking cautiously into the room before stepping in and straightening his clothing.

It took Zoro a moment to realize that the cook next to him was talking, shouldering passed Zoro to block the others from advancing any further. “What are you doing in my kitchen?”

“Your kitchen,” Zoro heard the kitsune laugh as he placed the merman on the fucking table and all Zoro could think was that Sanji— the real Sanji— was gonna be  _ pissed _ at that. Zoro could see a thin layer of slime on the clean table top from the merman’s scales and he could hear Sanji screeching in his head about fish being on his kitchen table. “This isn’t your kitchen,” the kitsune scoffed.

“I’ve been in here all night cooking for Zoro, that makes it my kitchen.” Without even hesitating, Chibi-Cook poked the kitsune in the chest, glaring up at him and daring him to make a move.

The kitsune flicked the hand aside, his three tails sweeping out to the side, making Chibi-Cook stumble back toward Zoro and the kitsune chuckled as he did so. “Please, I don’t think any of us are here to fight, I’m certainly not.”

“I’m here for Zoro!” Cat-Sanji clapped his hands together and bounced on his toes, before he turned to look at Zoro with a huge grin on his face. Zoro inhaled sharply, taking a step backward and hitting the counter.

Zoro could see the light catch in cat-Sanji’s large eyes as he tried to run over to him, but was stopped by a curl of smoke and the devil himself appeared, glancing back over his shoulder to wink at Zoro, his tail curling and flicking in play. “Hello, lover,” he purred, red eyes flashing dangerously, and Zoro swallowed. He was so fucked.

“Ah, there you are,” the kitsune started, crossing his arms. The cat hissed, jumping away from the devil as his tail puffed up.

Everyone turned to look at the devil, who simply shrugged and raised his hands into the air in mock-innocence. “What? Like I would give up that easily just because wanna-be over there broke my spell.” Flinging a hand at the hairdresser, the devil laughed, tail flicking as he looked back at Zoro once more. “Now, to finish what I started.”

“Hey,” the stylist yelled back. “I’m just as real as you are!”

“We all are,” Chibi-Cook snapped his hands into fists from his place near Zoro.

Zoro jerked back slightly, unsure of how to react to what was happening. Hell, what was happening? All the different doppelgangers he’d encountered over the night were all in one place, clearly interacting with one another and knowing something that none of them seemed to want to tell Zoro about. Swallowing, Zoro gripped onto the hilt of his katana, ready to draw his weapon if the devil came too close. The slightest part of Zoro was hesitant to attack, this thing looked like Sanji after all, but Zoro could also tell that this wasn’t Sanji, Sanji would have never tried to take advantage of Zoro the way this doppelganger had. “Don’t take another step,” Zoro growled out, taking a step in front of the Chibi-Cook and making the devil pause in his advance.

“You think you can stop me, Zoro?” Raising an eyebrow, the devil tugged at his tie, pulling his shirt collar open and undoing the top few buttons of his shirt. Zoro could see pale skin under the opening and had to remind himself that this was the asshole that almost succeeded in seducing him. “All I had to do was kiss you last time and you were following my every command. Imagine what we could do if you decided to completely give yourself to me.”

The merman smacked his tail against the floor. “Stop right there, you don’t get to decide what’s going on here!” Ears flicking in anger, Zoro watched as the merman shifted, long muscular tail twisting to strike if need be.

“There’s no need for a fight. We are all here for the same thing, are we not?” The kitsune stepped forward, closing the distance between himself and the devil. Zoro narrowed his eye, watching and waiting for what was going to happen. He didn’t trust any of these doppelgangers, but he trusted the devil the least of them all.

The devil inhaled deeply, eyes trailing over Zoro, making him feel completely uncomfortable in his own skin. “Oh, I know exactly why I am here.” Darting forward, he reached out, grabbing Zoro by his tie and tugging him forward, dragging him into a kiss. Zoro stumbled forward, grabbing the devil by the arms to catch himself and stop the advance, feeling the imposter’s lips brush his own before the devil was gone, slamming against the galley wall.

Zoro blinked, looking down to see the merman on the floor, tail settling back onto the wood from where Zoro could only assume he hit the devil. “You’re not kissing him again. His own free will, that’s what we agreed on,” he growled, his eyes flashing dangerously in the light of the galley.

“Are you all right, Zoro?” The Chibi-Cook touched his arm, fingers barely brushing against Zoro’s shirt and he nodded, glancing back to him as he did.

“Zoro!” Cat-Sanji leapt at Zoro, wrapping his arms around his neck and making Zoro catch him. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Zoro shook his head to clear it, trying to catch up to what in the hell had just happened as he placed the cat on the floor. He stayed close, arms wrapping around Zoro’s arm as he snuggled against him. His gaze met the stylist’s from across the galley and Zoro could see the fear in his eyes. Whatever was going on here, that Sanji hadn’t thought it would resort to violence. He seemed to hesitate, as if he wanted to be with Zoro, but making that small walk across the galley seemed overwhelming to him. Zoro watched as the hairdresser shook his head, taking a step closer to the wall, as if that would distance himself from the entire situation that was currently unfolding in the galley.

“You have to choose,” the merman spoke at Zoro’s feet and he looked down to him.

“Choose what,” Zoro asked, meeting his eyes, the blue so similar to the cook’s, but Zoro could tell now that it wasn’t the same.

“One of us,” the devil grunted, staggering back to his feet. His tail whipped madly behind him, and he snarled out each word as spoke from between pointed teeth. “For an overgrown fish, you hit hard, you know that.”

The kitsune stepped closer to the merman, ears pressed back into his hair as he growled deep in his throat. “There are rules in place here, you need to abide by them as much as the rest of us.”

“Please,” the devil scoffed, red eyes gleaming, almost glowing. “I’m an incubus, I break rules to obtain what it is I want.”

“Not in this instance you don’t.” The kitsune shifted his stance, standing tall and towering over everyone else in the room. Zoro felt dizzy, as if he needed a moment to sort through everything, and unable to get it. There was just so much going on at once, and unlike a normal battlefield, he felt like he couldn’t single out a target to focus on.

He could feel the shift in the air however, the tingle that hummed lowly and told Zoro that there was going to be a fight. “Get in the kitchen,” he spoke quietly to the two doppelgangers at his sides. “Stay down, this is going to get worse.” Cat-Sanji just tightened his grip around Zoro’s arm and Zoro glanced down to him, using his free hand to pat his head. “Come on, it’s okay.”

“Come with us.” Cat-Sanji looked up to Zoro, his big blue eyes on the verge of tears.

“I’m right here,” Zoro replied calmly, even though he was watching the standoff that was happening in the middle of the galley between the merman, kitsune and devil. “I’m not leaving, but I need to keep those three from fighting in the galley. It’s not theirs to destroy, so I have to protect it.”

“It’s Sanji’s,” Chibi-Cook breathed out, eyes glancing from the three in the middle of the room to Zoro. “Your Sanji, I mean.”

“Yeah,” Zoro nodded, the faintest hint of a smile quirking the corner of his mouth. “Yeah, it’s the cook’s and I wouldn’t be able to face him if I just stood by and let those imposters destroy it. Get him,” Zoro added, pointing across the galley to where the hairdresser was still standing, clearly frightened and in over his head in whatever it was this situation had become. “And stay in the kitchen.”

With a nod, cat-Sanji darted off across the galley, grabbing the hairdresser by the hand and dragging him back as they followed Chibi-Cook into the kitchen. With the three of them behind him, Zoro stood, unsheathing Wado Ichimonji and taking a step between the remaining doppelgangers in the galley. “All right,” he started, sight flicking to each one of them in turn. “No one is going to fight in here. This isn’t the place, nor is it yours to destroy.”

“No one is trying to destroy anything,” the kitsune started, eyes never leaving the devil. Zoro glanced over to him before looking back to the devil, lifting his weapon a little higher toward him.

The merman shifted on his hands, the end of his tail flicking in clear want to attack. Zoro could easily see that the devil was the main force to reckon with, his intent to attack Zoro clear over the others. It didn’t matter to him though, Zoro wasn’t going anywhere with anyone. He had a galley and ship to protect and that was exactly what he planned on doing.


	8. Blackleg Sanji: Part Two

The devil sneered at Zoro, laughing as he flexed his hands at his sides. “Speak for yourselves; that is exactly what I plan on doing. I am looking to destroy you, Zoro, break you and take you home with me to be mine for all eternity.” He took a step closer to Zoro and Zoro raised the Wado Ichimonji, point mere inches from the devil’s throat.

To his credit, he didn’t back down, eyes flicking to the blade, before he looked back up at Zoro. “What,” the devil asked, tipping his head to the side slightly and biting at his lip. “Do I tempt you? Does my presence make your body yearn for mine in ways you didn’t think it could? Come on, Zoro,” the incubus went on, hands trailing down over his own body, pressing against his groin as he lifted his hips. “I know you want me; I could taste it when we kissed.”

“Knock it off,” the kitsune growled, his tails fanning out behind him. Zoro could feel a low hum in the air, something that sparked with an energy that was both Sanji’s and not Sanji’s at the same time. He could only assume it was the kitsune’s magic at play.

The incubus took a step back from Zoro’s weapon, eyes glinting dangerously as he raised a hand. “You want to play that way, do you,” he spat at the kitsune and Zoro really wasn’t surprised when a ball of red fire ignited in the devil’s hand. Because, seriously, of course he would have fire, it was the idiot cook’s signature attack technique. If nothing else, light it on fire.

Zoro barely kept his smirk in check, not wanting to give the devil even the faintest of ideas that he was encouraging his destructive behavior. “Don’t,” Zoro tipped his head toward the incubus, growling out each word. “Not in here. Not on this ship.”

“Try and stop me, Zoro, you will come with me.” In a puff of smoke, the incubus vanished and Zoro automatically turned his attention to the other two in the middle of the galley with him. The kitsune’s ears were flicking madly and his tails were held stiff, listening for some sign of the devil, even as a silence fell throughout the galley.

“He’s still here,” the merman breathed out, pushing himself up onto his tail and looking around.

“I can feel him, too.” The kitsune’s tails dropped as his ears pressed flat against his hair. Raising a hand, fire of his own bursting to life in his palm, tinted blue not unlike the red tinted flame of the incubus. Zoro inhaled, about to once again comment about how no one was fighting in the galley when the devil reappeared right behind the kitsune, arm swinging forward for an attack.

Twisting, the kitsune blocked the attack, countering with one of his own and the two balls of flame ignited, erupting together before dissipating into nothing. The merman moved, faster than Zoro thought he could, but still awkwardly, swinging his tail around to strike out at the devil. The incubus barely dodged, his attention drawn and giving the kitsune enough time to attack again. This time a ball of water materialized in the kitsune’s hand, swirling into life before he struck, slamming it into the devil’s chest.

The merman followed with another swipe of his tail, knocking the devil’s feet out from under him and sending him crashing to the floor with his back to the door. “What the fuck,” he yelled, eyes glowing brightly as he groaned in pain. “That’s not playing fair.”

The kitsune summoned another water orb, looming over the devil as the merman poised his tail to strike, sharp teeth bared in aggression. “You were aware of what our presence here entailed, yet you break our own rules for your own gain. Who ever said we were going to play fair?”

The devil laughed, throwing his head back against the floor as his laughter rang around the room. Inhaling deeply, he stood, still chuckling under his breath as he dusted off his pants and squared his feet. “Well,” he started, smirking as he tipped his head to the side slightly. His tail flicked behind him, curling up and over his shoulder as he looked passed the kitsune and merman to Zoro. “If we aren’t going to play fair, someone should have told me.”

Raising both hands, the incubus pushed against the air and Zoro could feel the sudden shift in power in the room. It felt like Zoro had slammed against a brick wall, despite knowing he hadn’t moved and he watched, breath caught in his throat, as the devil twisted both hands, raising his palms toward the ceiling as he picked both the kitsune and the merman up off the ground without even having to touch them.

“Let them go,” Zoro yelled, watching as the two struggled in the invisible grip the devil had on them. The merman’s tail thrashed madly about while the kitsune growled low, hands coming up to his own throat, as if something were choking him. Zoro stepped forward, raising his sword toward the incubus.

The devil’s red eyes met Zoro’s after trailing down the blade and he grinned, dipping his head in a slight nod, “As you wish.” Smirking, he twisted his hands again, throwing the two other Sanji look-alikes against the walls of the galley, where they each crashed to the floor in a heap. Dropping his arms to his sides, the devil took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. “Now that they are out of the way, what do you say we pick up where we left off earlier?”

Zoro raised his weapon as the devil took a step forward and he raised his arms in surrender. “All right,” he started, tail snaking behind him wildly. “We can do this the hard way then.”

From the corner of his sight, Zoro saw a flash of blond and the Chibi-Cook came at the devil with a kick meant for his head. The incubus blocked it, laughing as he snapped his arm out, grabbing the younger man by the throat and dragging him close to his face. “You’re not even worth the effort, really,” the devil sneered before throwing the Chibi-Cook off against one of the walls, same as he had the others. Zoro heard the young cook groan in pain and he looked over as he saw him crumple to the floor near the merman. Ducking under Zoro’s weapon, the devil grabbed Zoro by the wrist, twisting his arm in an attempt to get him to drop his sword and grabbing him by his tie.

Pulling Zoro close to him, the devil inhaled deeply, lips parting as he leaned in for a kiss. “Just give in, you can’t defeat the devil.”

Zoro inhaled to speak, the grip on his arm tightening as the incubus refused to let Zoro go, but he stopped, momentarily stunned as a foot came out of nowhere, connecting with the side of the devil’s head and throwing him across the room to slam against the wall. Zoro heard the soft click of shoes hitting the galley floor and he smirked as he watched Sanji calmly inhale a drag off his cigarette. There he is, Zoro thought, watching as Sanji adjusted the stupid fake horns on his head. That’s the real Sanji. “Devil, my ass,” he huffed around a cloud of smoke. “I’ve kicked more difficult opponents in my sleep.” Scoffing, Sanji turned his attention to Zoro, who was still standing in the middle of the galley, his sword raised. Sanji raised an eyebrow at Zoro, not in the least bit phased by the weapon pointed at him. “The hell you doing in my kitchen, Marimo?”

“Could ask you the same thing,” Zoro shot back, not realizing how stupid that sounded until after it was out of his mouth. He lowered his weapon, but didn’t put the sword away, leery as he could hear movement from the look-alikes around the room.

“My galley,” Sanji replied, stuffing a hand in his pocket. “Better question: what in the fuck is going on in here?”

“I have no idea.” Zoro shook his head, thinking it better to just tell Sanji the truth in this matter. “I have been asking myself that all night long.”

“Damned imposters,” the cook grumbled under his breath, attention turning to where the cat and stylist were still in the kitchen. The cat moved around the edge of the counter, Zoro’s name on his tongue, but Sanji stomped his foot, growling around his cigarette. “Don’t even think about it.”

The cat shied away as the others all started to recover, groaning and rising to their feet. The kitsune shook his head, ears smacking against his temples before he turned to check on the merman and the Chibi-Cook. The devil sat up, rubbing at the side of his head, clearly pouting at seeing the real Sanji in their midst. He huffed a sigh of defeat as he stood, tail swaying limply near his feet. The cat and stylist scurried across the room, ducking to hide behind the kitsune as soon as he was standing, peeking out from behind his tails to stare at Sanji in the middle of the galley.

Zoro watched as Sanji turned to all of them, pulling his cigarette from his mouth and pointing to each one in turn. “Get your sorry asses out of my galley right now. I don’t know what in the hell you were all planning tonight, but not on this ship, not in my kitchen!”

Each one of the other look-alikes turned and headed for the door silently as they filed out one by one. Satisfied that they no longer seemed to be a threat, Zoro sheathed his sword, crossing his arms over his chest as he watched the line of doppelgangers leave the galley.

His eyes flicked to Sanji though, who was intent on making sure everyone left and swallowed as he felt a sudden want rise up in him. If nothing else, this night had taught Zoro that his feelings for the cook, whatever it was they really may have been, were real. Zoro wanted to reach out, grab Sanji by the shoulder and pull him in for a kiss as he told the man that he liked him, cared about him in some form that passed the already deep bond that was their nakamaship, but he stopped as Sanji rounded on him, blue eyes flashing dangerously.

“Looks like you had a fun evening.” Sanji’s tone was dark, clearing poking fun at Zoro and as instantly as that want had welled in his chest, it died as Zoro realized that Sanji didn’t return his sentiment.

“It’s not what it looks like, Cook,” Zoro muttered out, sighing heavily as he looked away. Why had he thought he’d ever stand a chance; he was dealing with Sanji, ladies man if Zoro ever saw one. Scoffing, Zoro struck off for the door. “Whatever, I don’t have to explain myself to you.”

Zoro actually thought Sanji was just going to stand there, let him leave the galley and his footfalls sounded much louder than they normally did as he trudged toward the galley door. He was just reaching for the handle, when Sanji spoke, voice low and even, “Marimo, wait.”


	9. Epilogue

Sanji watched Zoro as he paused, before he looked over his shoulder to Sanji. Sanji glanced down, muttering under his breath about all the food that was lining the counter. “Those… copies,” he started, looking up to Zoro, pausing to light his cigarette and inhale that first drag. “Robin-chwan and Nami-swan say that they will be gone by morning. There was some sort of way point we passed into that allowed for the convergence of all the different versions of, well, me. As soon as we pass out of it, they will all go back to where they came from and that will be the end of it.”

Sanji picked up a spatula off the stove and tossed it into the sink, still grumbling under his breath about someone being in his kitchen and that it that really had been a copy of himself, he should have known better than to mess with his things. “I see,” Zoro said quietly and Sanji paused for just a moment before reaching out for one of the pans. He didn’t know why he tried to explain the situation to Zoro, it wasn’t like the moron was going to care at all. Hell, Sanji didn’t even know why all those other copies of himself had shown up, Zoro had no interest in Sanji, he knew that. Maybe the others didn’t though. Maybe that was why they were all here, trying to convince Zoro in some way that entering into a relationship wasn’t the worst thing he had ever thought of. Just thinking of one of the other versions of himself getting near this Zoro frustrated Sanji to no end and he sucked on the end of his cigarette, pulling it from his mouth angrily.

Zoro wasn’t saying anything else besides his low muttered words, standing by the door and rubbing at his temples. “That’s it? ‘I see?’ What, did you want to go with them or something? Typical, just like a moss-brain to get so lost that you actually cross dimensions.” Zoro looked up to Sanji, his gaze almost beyond belief that Sanji had said that. Of course he would be, why would Zoro ever think that Sanji had feelings for him? It wasn’t like Sanji was going around saying anything, not really wanting to ruin their friendship or get punched in the face, as he was pretty sure that would be Zoro’s reaction to Sanji saying he liked him.

Besides, Sanji didn’t fully know how to approach Zoro with the subject. He most certainly couldn’t bring the brute flowers, and his attempts to make Zoro his favorite foods and snacks had gone unnoticed and unappreciated. Turning his back on Zoro, Sanji sighed. “Well, go on, I’m sure any one of those idiots would love to have a stray marimo around. Get out of my kitchen.”

Sanji heard Zoro take a step back into the kitchen, but he didn’t advance any further. Instead, he sighed and left, the soft click of the galley door Sanji’s only answer. Staring out the porthole over the sink, Sanji chewed at his lip, letting his cigarette burn away in his hand. A part of him wanted to chase after Zoro, explain to him that he couldn’t leave with one of them, that he… he what? Loved Zoro? Sanji, scoffed and rolled his eyes, that was probably going a little too far. He didn’t know how to make it clear to Zoro that Sanji felt something deeper than just being nakama.

Irritated, Sanji snubbed his half burnt cigarette into some water in the bottom of the sink, stomped his way toward the galley door and pulled it open. He inhaled to speak, but stopped as he heard all the other copies of himself chattering at once on the grass deck. Rolling his eyes, Sanji peered out, discouraged at having to witness the spectacle before him. “Zoro,” the cat-him screeched, jumping at Zoro and Sanji was a bit shocked to see Zoro catch him, holding him a moment before he carefully set him back onto the grass.

Jealousy welled up in Sanji, but he swallowed it down. He had no right to be jealous over this, Zoro hardly knew Sanji existed on a good day, let alone on a romantic front. “Well,” all of them seemed to chorus at once and Sanji heard Zoro chuckle lowly as he shook his head.

“Have you made a decision,” the kitsune asked.

“Come home with me,” the incubus lilted and Sanji rolled his eyes. Good luck on that, he thought, moss reproduces through spores. Raising a hand to cover his mouth, Sanji snorted back a laugh at the thought of Zoro somehow being able to reproduce that way, tiny little marimo running around on deck asking him for more onigiri.

Sanji swallowed, realizing he was letting his mind wander and not paying attention to what it was Zoro was going to do. Part of him wanted to go down there and ruin all their fun, kick them off the ship and threaten them again if they ever decided to come back. This Zoro was his, even if not in the way he wanted it to be.

He was just working up the nerve to step out of the galley, when Sanji froze at Zoro’s words. “I can’t,” he was saying. “I have to stay here.”

“Why not,” every single copy of Sanji whined together.

“I’m not your Zoro. You all have your own versions of me back home, don’t you?”

Sanji heard the muttered chorus of ‘yes’ and saw all the bobbing heads. They all seemed rather down about their versions of Zoro and anger flared through Sanji that there could be a marimo out there somewhere that had put their Sanji in the same position he was— ignored and refused by that dimension’s Zoro. Things sort of fell into place suddenly for Sanji and his breath caught in his throat as he watched Zoro’s shoulders grow tense before he rubbed at the back of his neck.

“Then you know why I can’t go with you,” Zoro said quietly. “Even if it's not supposed to happen here, I can’t leave him.”

“Zoro,” Sanji breathed out, hand covering his mouth.

The devil scoffed, flicking his tail. “He will never treat you the way I would treat you. I can make your wildest fantasies come true.”

“You shut your whore mouth!” Sanji yelled from the galley door, stopping when he realized everyone turned to look at him. He felt a heat rise over his cheeks as he met Zoro’s gaze, hunching his shoulders forward at being caught before looking away. “I mean…” he tried, sheepishly making his way down the stairs as he stuffed his hands in his pockets. Gripping his lighter tightly, Sanji looked over to Zoro before he looked past him to all the others. He was down here, he’d been found out, now all Sanji had to do was get rid of them all.

“Cook,” Zoro started, looking like he wanted to reach out to Sanji and that was the weirdest thing he’d seen all night. Sanji felt his heart pounding in his chest and he would be lying if he said he wasn’t even a little nervous.

Sanji met Zoro’s eye, feeling his stomach drop before he turned on the line of copies that were staring at them both. He wanted to reach out to Zoro, too, take his hand and squeeze while he told all these bastards off, but he didn’t, hardening his expression before he spoke. “Get outta here already! He’s not going with you. Go back to wherever the hell it is you came from.” Raising his leg threateningly, Sanji stared each of his counterparts down until they all turned and walked away, hopefully to find how to get back to wherever it was they came from. He watched as the merman slipped back over the side of the boat and the kitsune grabbed the devil by the back of the neck before he could vanish, while the others trailed closely behind.

When they were alone, Sanji turned back to Zoro and scoffed. “No need to thank me, I could see you clearly weren’t capable of getting rid of—” Sanji was cut off as Zoro grabbed him by the shoulder and pulled him into a kiss.

Sanji made a shocked sound against Zoro’s mouth before he sighed through his nose, melting into the kiss as he closed his eyes. It certainly wasn’t the picture he had painted in his head, but then again, this was Zoro he was talking about; Sanji was pretty sure Zoro didn’t even know the definition of ‘romantic.’ Whatever, Sanji would take it.

Breaking away, Zoro pressed his forehead against Sanji’s, running one hand up into his hair. “I’m sorry,” he mumbled, voice low and clearly for only Sani to hear.

“About what,” Sanji asked, pushing his forehead against Zoro’s like they seemed to always do when they were this close. It had just become habit, and he chuckled when Zoro automatically pushed back against him.

“I should have said something sooner. Tonight’s been… well, tonight’s been a real lesson, that’s for sure.”

“You’re an idiot.”

“I’m aware,” Zoro huffed, tipping his head to peck Sanji on the mouth again.  “I’m not sure what they were trying to accomplish by trying to get me to go with them, they weren’t you.”

“I’m the only me,” Sanji grinned when Zoro snorted back a laugh. “Right,” he prompted, pressing a kiss to Zoro’s cheek. Relief and want washed through Sanji at the fact that Zoro returned his affections. He never, not in his wildest dreams, dared to hope that this would ever be a reality for him, even with knowing that there were several different versions of himself, each with their very own Zoro.

“Well, I don’t know, the cat you was willing to do whatever I asked of— ow! You don’t need to kick me, Shit Cook, what the hell?” Zoro pulled away from him, picking up his leg to rub at his shin as he bent over slightly.

Sanji clicked his tongue in annoyance, despite the smile he knew was on his face. “There’s only one me, right, Marimo?”

“Only one asshole you, yeah, can’t argue there.”

“Fucker!” Sanji raised his leg, pressing it to Zoro’s shoulder and knocking him down into the grass. Zoro was laughing though, rolling over and sprawling out as he sighed and looked up to Sanji. “What’s so funny, moss-brain?”

Zoro shrugged. “Nothing, just happy, is all.”

“You’re such a sap, idiot moss.”

Zoro reached out, grabbed Sanji by the ankle and pulled his leg out from under him, but Sanji simply shifted his balance and let Zoro have his leg as he stood solid on his other foot. “Takes one to know one, Cook.” Zoro let his leg go, looking up at him from the grass. Sanji just grinned at him, stuffing his hands in his pockets and leaning over Zoro as he did so.

“Yeah, it really does.”


End file.
